Friday, June 11, 2010

Norfolk vicar advertises for weddings

"Why not get married in a church? You do not have to live in the parish as long as you have a qualifying connection. You do not necessarily have to have been baptised."

So reads west Norfolk village vicar James Ryan's advert for a church wedding in the West Winch parish magazine.

Just a generation ago getting married in a church was the norm.

But with the lure of foreign shores, a stately home or hotel offering the service and some choosing to bypass marriage altogether, times have changed.

Nationally, the number of Church of England weddings has fallen by two-thirds since the 1970s and it is something the church is keen to reverse.

So the Rev James Ryan, rector for West Winch, Middleton and North Runcton, has made his case in his local parish magazine.

Under the heading Planning a Wedding, Mr Ryan explained that church weddings were not as expensive as you might think and that there could be options for divorcees.

He decided to write his bit as part of a national Your Church Wedding campaign, started by the Archbishop's Council.

He said: "We have an attractive church here and the cost doesn't have to be huge. There are advantages - if you have any degree of faith at all you should consider having a church wedding rather than just a hotel."

But venues like stately homes and National Trust houses are seeing increasing numbers choosing the non-religious option.

Julie Woodhouse, manager of Congham Hall, near King's Lynn, which was one of the first hotels to get a marriage licence more than 14 years ago, said that among their customers, those choosing a church wedding were in the minority now.

"Everything is under one roof here", she said. "There's no moving from venue to venue. It is easier for everybody, including the guests."

She said they had also had inquiries about pagan and humanist weddings.

The National Trust is also offering some of its stately homes as wedding venues.

Graham Edgar, catering business manager, said: "Magnificent buildings like the National Trust's Blickling Hall are in demand for both wedding ceremonies and receptions, what with intimate interiors and a stunning location - we can offer an all-round package.

"We have seen a slight increase in bookings this year, but more and more people are coming to us, saying that they visited as a child and it's been their dream ever since to return and get married here one day."

He said that they did encourage people to get married at their local church.

The Rev Simon Ward, the bishop's chaplain for Norwich Diocese, said that although there had been a decline nationally, in recent years Norfolk numbers were holding up well.

"We've got lots of small villages and small churches. A lot of people have a sense of belonging with their local church.

"We have a lot of fantastic clergy who do a fantastic job around the diocese."

But over 40 years things have changed.

"Unlike the 1970s, people have got a lot more choice - even now they have a lot more than they did 10 or 15 years ago.

"There's not the same ties that there were if you go back a few years. Couples do have more choice, and this is in response to the fact that people do move around."

A change in the law in 2008 has made it easier for people to get married in a village they do not live in, if they have a significant connection.

Mr Ward said that the old marriage laws were made during a time when people tended to marry people from the same or nearby villages.

He said the church was running the campaign because they wanted people to experience a church wedding.

"It offers something quite different. In this county our buildings are some of the most beautiful. You could be standing on steps where couples have stood for hundreds of years and said their wedding vows," he said.

On the issue of remarriage after divorce he said that some attitudes had changed and although it was at the discretion of a vicar, the message was very much to come in and talk.

It is not just the Church of England seeing a decline. Father James Walsh, dean of St John's Roman Catholic Cathedral in Norwich, said there had been a decline in the Catholic church too, although numbers getting married in the cathedral remained fairly steady.

He pinpointed two reasons for the decline - the perception that it was expensive and a change in attitudes to marriage.

"I say to young people that it is not necessary to spend lots of money on a wedding," he said.

"Some young people have said to me, 'I do not need a piece of paper to prove that we are married to each other.'"

But Father Walsh said: "Christian marriage is about making a commit-ment to each other before God and making a commitment to the relationship.

"It has been throughout history and it will be in the future."

Times have changed from a time where the church had a near monopoly as a wedding venue.

Now the Church of England is joining hotels, barns, estates and many other settings marketing what they have to offer for "your perfect day".

For more information on the Church of England's national campaign go to www.yourchurchwedding.org.

SIC: EDP